Before You Say Yes to That Proposal Abroad

Before you say yes to that proposal abroad… there is something I think you need to know.

Because you are not just leaving your parents’ house.

You are leaving your comfort zone.
Your city.
Your country.
Your family.
Your friends.
Your routines.
Even the food you grew up eating 😭

And I know… moving abroad sounds exciting.

A new country, a new house, a new life with your husband.
And it is exciting.

But nobody really prepares you for الغربة — l’ghorba.

Because suddenly, seeing your family is no longer a 20-minute drive.

It is a visa.
A flight ticket.
Packing a suitcase.
Taking days off.
Planning months in advance.

You will live in a completely different environment, sometimes a completely different culture, and no matter how beautiful that country is… you still have to learn how to belong there.

There will be days where you genuinely love your life.

And there will be other days where you cry because you just want to go home.

And that’s the strange part.

Because you’re sitting inside your own house…

but somehow, it still doesn’t completely feel like home.

This is an amazing country.

But it isn’t my country.

You start missing things you never thought you would miss.

A street.
A smell.
A random shop.
A family lunch.
Someone knocking on your door without calling first. 😭

And then comes the harder part.

You watch your parents grow older from a screen.

Someone gets sick and you can’t just get in the car and go see them.

Your siblings’ lives keep moving.

Your friends keep living.

Birthdays, weddings, illnesses, little moments…

and sometimes you’re just watching everything through your phone.

And when you get sick?

Your mum isn’t coming over.

Your sister isn’t five minutes away.

There is no family house to escape to when you’re exhausted.

A lot of the time, it is just you and your husband.

You become each other’s family, emergency contact, best friend, support system… everything.

And that can make a marriage incredibly strong.

But it can also be heavy.

Because the two of you are trying to build a life while both carrying the weight of being far from everything familiar.

So no, I wouldn’t tell a woman not to marry someone abroad.

I did it.

And alhamdulillah, there is so much beauty in the life we built together.

But before you say yes, understand what you’re actually saying yes to.

Not only the man.

Not only the marriage.

But the distance.

The adaptation.

The loneliness sometimes.

The responsibility.

The sacrifices.

L’ghorba is a feeling of its own.

And love makes many things easier…

but you still have to be ready to face it.